Yes, you hear yourself saying.
Yes, I’ll be there at 8 a.m. on Saturday.
But your inner dialogue is saying NO! Why did I say that? Why do I always get roped into these things? I’m so bloody tired and I can hardly drag myself out of bed in the mornings. I’m struggling to take care of my own basic needs, never mind committing to helping someone else.
After agreeing to something you don’t want to do, you likely feel
- resentful towards that person
- self-loathing
- fearful about how you’re going to cope
And if you’re already struggling with tough physical symptoms, adding these kinds of emotions is going to make things worse for you.
You are caught up in a victim state and it’s quite literally draining every aspect of your life force.
This has got to change, you are worth so much more than this.
ARE YOU WILLING TO STOP OVER GIVING?
Or to be even more specific are you willing to address the reasons why you are over giving?
What is it?
- Fear of upsetting others?
- Fear of conflict?
- Fear of not being liked by others
- Fear of not being accepted by others
Are you relating to this?
What is the common factor here?
FEAR.
And why are you likely operating from a state of fear?
What is going on at the core of you?
A deep self-loathing is featuring very high on your list of emotions. This may seem like a strong term but quite honestly is over giving in any way showing anything but a self-loathing towards yourself? It certainly doesn’t show a strong, empowered and vital woman who is willing to speak up and do what is right for her.
Are you relating to being stuck in this cycle?
So right now, in this moment I am giving you a permission slip to release you from the need to over give.
Just stop.
You may think it’s been helping and serving others but it’s not.
Firstly, it’s not serving you and secondly, other people will pick up on this resentment and fear and anger even if they don’t realise this is what it is.
You then feel upset and unloved when others don’t appreciate your giving, but how can they when it has come from a place of this resentment inside of you.
You can’t expect others to love you, when you don’t love yourself.
So what the heck do you do?
- You practice the art of loving yourself unconditionally.
- You talk to yourself kindly, you build yourself up.
- You speak up like your life depends on it, because it does!
- You tell yourself over and over and over again, that you are perfect exactly as you are.
- You engage in acts that show to yourself and others that you value and care for yourself on a very deep level.
- You allow those who do not respect your worth to disappear from your life, and you allow those who do value you to come into your life.
If you are still extremely burned out or dealing with adrenal fatigue then you receive as much as you can. You ditch over giving permanently.
As you begin to get stronger and stronger, you allow yourself to give only from a place that feels balanced for you. Giving from a place that feels good and in ways that feel natural for you. If there is any unhealthy emotion tied up in it, you don’t give. You give only in ways that work within the rhythms of what you need.
You build a strong foundation for yourself that honours and values who you are.
You respect yourself, create healthy boundaries and you speak up for what you need.
And you do this one day at a time.
You don’t beat yourself up if you don’t do this perfectly, you keep accepting that you’re doing the best you can.
You see yourself with a deep reverence and respect, which then allows others to also see you in that light.
You allow the workings of the Divine Presence to move in and through every cell of your being, and you simply allow yourself to be who you naturally are.
This is all you need to be, YOU.
This is the place from which you come to life with your relationships, your work, your purpose, from the place of YOU.
You are loved by this Divine Presence, Creator, whatever you like to call this power great than ourselves.
Isn’t it time once and for all that you truly learned to accept and love yourself for who you are, unconditionally.
Much love
Lisa
